Last night as I left work, I realised that, yet again, I had forgotten to get my headphones. Normally I realise before I hit the stairwell and go back and collect them, but on this occasion it was only after the door shut. As a security feature you cannot open the door from outside, forcing you to go all the way downstairs. Since I was rushing to catch a bus this was quite frustrating.
Normally this situation would generate something akin to a feeling of panic and utter frustration. It would not be unexpected for me to sacrifice the bus, so I can collect my headphones. For some reason, on this occasion, I mustered enough self control to travel home sans headphones.
In the past I have found it difficult to prepare for my day, walk to work etc. without the presence of music. It is something approaching dependency to have such a need. It all helps me prepare for the day.
Now you might be thinking, if they are that important to you how come you forget them so often? Well, the simple answer is absent-mindedness. I am quite capable of forgetting to bring headphones, but then suffering a major existential crisis as a result. Maybe it’s a masochistic thing.
So now I’m on the bus, cramped into seating that has so little legroom I think it has been designed for amputees. The bus is busy, but quiet. There’s only a low level of school child chatter. The adults are staring into space (and yes, they are wearing headphones…bastards). One school kid, with glasses and hair that looks like 1950’s George McFly, gives me a creepy stare as I glance around the occupants of the bus. I suppose it is a little unusual for someone to be looking at everybody and then typing furiously into their ‘phone, so perhaps his suspicious glance at me is warranted. On the other hand, dramatic licence allows me to assume that he is some kind of adolescent daemon child that has a pack of ravenous, but loyal, dogs who appear at inconvenient moments for a protagonist, and he could set me on fire just by looking at me and making his eyes glow red.
So I can’t say the lack of headphones is opening me up to new auditory experiences. The bus rumbles on, but I feel it more as sound in my ears, rather than vibration in my body. This isn’t a particularly new experience.
I’m just realising how crappy I’m feeling this morning. I’ve been dealing with a light cold this week. Not strong enough to keep me at home, but not weak enough for me to feel reasonably functional. I have a perma-headache on the periphery that is thankfully combatable with drugs, and a slight sense of drowsiness without ever being tired. I also have a sick feeling in my stomach, but think that has more to do with the lurching stop/start motion of the bus.
I’ll persevere, and man up. Freo awaits.