Dancing on my literary grave

Am I dancing on my literary grave? Every week I have a new idea and want to go with it, but then this leaves half completed projects in my wake. It’s becoming a serious problem, like I’m a drug addict trying various treatment centres but never persevering, because I haven’t found the ‘right one’. We all know the truth though.

I am not making the full segue way between idea and story. So I start out writing, get to about 1500 words and then realise I’m getting no where, because I hadn’t thought that far ahead. I have lots of great ideas, but I have only a few good stories. I need to bring some order to my creative chaos.

The problem is that I love planning at length, but dislike implementation. When I was a kid I played wargames, collected models and painted them, and built crappy armies who were highly dependent on rolling a 6 on a dice roll. In all the years I spent in the game I amassed two armies. I held many more army books describing each race and their models. I used to plan out future armies to terrify my enemies, but I never actually built them. Cost was part of it (if you’re a parent and you kid mentions Games Workshop then I suggest you mortgage your house and prepare for serious financial pain). The main one though was that it is, of course, much easier to talk about something (or think about it) than to actually implement it. Corbynistas please take note.

So I am less surprised at the idea I have thus far struggled to eke out a consistent train of story development. Maybe I am being too hard on myself. After all, this is the first time I have truly dedicated spare time to the progression and design of stories and writing. I put off a year of my degree just to do that. 

Nonetheless I need to start getting into a better process way of thinking, otherwise my computer will be littered with half finished ideas and no story. 

There may be a sense of avoidance. Procrastination can be quite deliberate. Writing a story is one thing, but then editing, drafting, redrafting, getting feedback, redrafting again, getting published. It’s very trying. So perhaps it’s easier to never publish and just be a writer without actually producing a final product.

Even this blog is a form of procrastination. If I only write 300 words a (work)day that’s 1500 words a week, which equals roughly 75000 a year – that’s a novel (and I’m being conservative on my word count). I could be writing a novel in a year. 

Maybe I’m just being a bit over fussy. I’m writing a story at the moment that I have pretty much worked out from start to finish, so in theory that should not prove too challenging. So I am able to generate ideas and get them to story. Maybe it’s like this for all writers. I’m not sure.

Well, time will tell. If I am disciplined enough my current story should be done by the end of week. I wonder what I can find to put it off.

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